the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
