Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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