I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
