I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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