First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
