This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
As shirtless as possible
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
