"it" just moved
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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