I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
