He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
