We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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