people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
