hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
