Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
