Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
only if we run a train.
done.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
