So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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