I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's official drugs can't kill me
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I love you.
Bad choice
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
