So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize