First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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