Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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