too bad you live with your parents still
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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