I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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