You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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