Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we're making bets on your personal life
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
