even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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