Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize