I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
