I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
