Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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