You can't special order awesome
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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