Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
