One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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