We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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