She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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