I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
