Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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