i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
its not stalking. its research.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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