I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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