So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
