I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
