so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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