I am midnight drunk by noon
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
