Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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