whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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