did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
