I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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