like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Randomize
