Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
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splinters make it hard to masturbate
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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