i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
