dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
