Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I did not marry a roomba.
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