Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
