He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
