I'm really into asian looking animals
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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