That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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