This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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