none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am spending my child support on dildos
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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