I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize