omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
