Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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