I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
