i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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