He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
