Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
