there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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