peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
